Almost a week after I sent it, but he got it.
We're talking again.
I can't express to you how I feel about it.
Imagine feeling ridiculously happy, completely terrified, hopelessly sad, & madly in love all at once.
You know how you usually build someone up in your mind?
You make them into this perfect super hero/god?
Well, obviously with my levels of crazy I did that to an extreme.
He's better than that.
I'm 100% fucked.
He's in love with this horrible girl who treated him like shit & it's the worst thing that I could imagine.
Because I love him so much.
He deserves the moon & the stars, love stronger than the tide.
Not someone who controlled & used him.
But that's love isn't it?
Standing on the side lines & being what they need?
It fucking hurts, no doubt, but what's the alternative?
Waste my life wondering how he is?
Imagining him laughing at me & waking up in a cold sweat?
I'll take this.
It's a slow death, but I'll take it.
Given the chance, I'd do it again & again.
Because he deserves to be adored & cherished.
Even if it's just by a friend.
Ciao for now!
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