Here's a Tip

To all the men in the universe:
I will run. All day, everyday, I will run.
If you want me, you are going to have to run faster than me.
Love for me is a game of chase.
Because I am scared. I am terrified.
I need to know that you are FULLY invested & that you won't just leave.
I also need to know YOU.
If I don't, don't expect anything from me.
Other than running.
Because that is one thing on which you can always count.
Yes, I know how foolish & ridiculous this may sound, but it's a reflex.
Sooo ... Yeah. That's just a good tip for you ...

It was going to say more, but let's face it. It's almost 4 in the morning & I'm too tired to think.
Buonanotte.

... Who's Failing New Year's Resolutions?

^ THIS GIRL!!!

Did you know that OCD gets worse when under stress?!?

Well guess what?

What is the biggest stressor on the face of this planet?!?

DATING!!!

Guess what I'm doing?!?

DATING!!!

NAILED IT!!!

... It's terrifying to be perfectly honest. Half the time I sit here thinking, "RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ... the other half I sit here & think, "This is so WEIRD!!!" ... Not a big change from my everyday life ...

Why am I such a coward? Because I don't want to be hurt again. Even more than that, I don't want to hurt him. Because let's face it, when it comes down to it, I end up hurting every nice guy I meet. Of course the last one came back 100000000000 times but he was an exception, & even now he's gone for good sooo ... TERROR!!!!!!

In other news, I've started my own Youtube Channel & also have one with my good friend. They're going to be awesome once I understand how to use Youtube better.

Tomorrow  being again on my hopes for the New Year ... Goodness knows how this'll go!

Ciao for now!

My New Years Resolutions

These might be kind of strange & I may or may not explain them because ... I may or may not want to ... SO here it goes!
1. No picking arms.
    - I have OCD & that's all I'm really going to say about that.
2. No plucking legs.
    - Same as #1.
3. No fear.
    - I am the world's largest coward, so I am going to do as many things that scare me ... I've got a pretty good start so far ... & the ability to scare myself even more: 2 unlimited passes to a theme park.
4. Try new things.
    - Similar to #3 in the fact that I am going to do things I wouldn't usually do. Like visit art museums & such things. I also see it as challenging myself to do things that are ridiculously difficult for me ... I've already done so!
5. Exercise everyday.
    - I hadn't worked out in about a month & I was beginning to feel self conscious sooo ... Now I workout every morning!
6. Follow morning & night routine.
    - I have a lot of very terrible habits when it comes to waking up & going to bed which include staying in bed until 11 a.m. & not taking my medicine, so now I've got plans to avoid these occurrences.
7. Believe in yourself.
    - Since my break up, I've had an incredibly low self esteem & it bothers me because there was a time when I loved myself & knew I could do anything & right now I just feel like I am failing at everything. So it's high time to change this.
8. CLEAN YOUR OLD ROOM!!!
    - All that needs saying is that I can't get to my closet, my bed, or my dresser ...
9. BUILD NEW ROOM!!!
    - I still share a bedroom with my 11 year old sister. Enough said.

Well, those are the ones I have so far, I'm sure I'll add more as the year progresses. I usually do.

The biggest challenge I have already faced. & that is spending time with a guy alone. It was quite possibly the most terrifying thing of my life. But I survived ... I'm also now dating .. well, sort of kind of, maybe. I'm not in a relationship, just dating. I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I'm just not. But I do like him. I like him a lot. Even just thinking about him gives me butterflies but ... I'm just not ready.
GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm freaking out. Just because I am so awkward & silly.
Goodness gracious.
Well ciao for now my loves.

That Awkward Moment When ...

Hi ... So it's been ... awhile since I was on here ...
To be fair, I've been one busy bee.
I've been taking as much work as possible & thus my life has been cray cray.
... & by cray cray, I mean crazy ...
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
It's a new year, there's a new boy, I've got new slippers & a smile on my face.
I've got my resolutions which I'll share with you later, because I'm chatting with a boy. (OOOO A BOOOOY!!!) ... Go away.
I KID! ... about the going away bit, not the boy bit ... AHHHH!!!!
I'm so AWKWARD!!!
Anyways, here's to a fantastic year!!!