I'm Done Apologizing

Hello my loves.
I am not going to apologize for not posting everyday. I am a busy human being & sometimes, life happens. If I'm going to accept myself, I need to accept that I am going to miss things & mess them up. It's just who I am.
I have 2 jobs & I'm in a show & honestly, I couldn't be busier nor more pleased with that.
Life is a thing I either have to take full on or I will never get it, so that's my plan.
There's a guy in my show ... Well, more of a man ... He's too old obviously & now in a relationship, but he is the type of man I want to marry. He is so stable & funny, mature, caring, kind, smart, musical, & just everything I could ever dream for. For the first time in over a year there is another guy occupying my mind & it's brilliant, even though I will never be with him, just finding someone who is real & perfect is encouraging.
So today I am putting my iTunes on shuffle & getting stuff done.
Ciao.

Starting Today ...

I'm not a girl I am proud of.
I am ashamed of the person inside my skin.
I am not the girl I want to be & starting today that is going to change.
I have put myself before my world, & for that I loath myself.
But no more. I CANNOT do this anymore.
I cannot lay in bed for hours do NOTHING anymore.
I cannot feel HELPLESS every single day of my life anymore.
I cannot keep living this LIE anymore.
So I will not.
Today is the start of a new life for me & I refuse to let myself down.
I will post the rest of my vacation photos & entries in a week & I will post something everyday.
Or you know that I'm failing myself even more.
I will become the girl I've longed to be for over a year.
I will, or I will die trying.