1 Year Ago ...

I was in a show called My Fair Lady a year ago & it was probably one of the best experiences of my life. & just like I always do in a show, I formed a crush on one of the cast members. His name was Alex. Yes. Was. I just found out that he has passed away. I cannot begin to explain to you how hard this was to hear ... When I form a romantic feeling for a person, it never goes away. I wrote him so many poems, I have songs specifically for him in my mind. I still think about him every once in awhile. Of course he fell under the shadow of my falling in love, also as he showed no interest in me ... He, his mom, & his sister drove out to my house to drop off some things that I left at the theater. I was asleep when they did this. I never even got a chance to say good-bye. It's funny, I never really realized how often I think about him ... But I did a lot, & now even more so. I am hoping that I can make it to his memorial service if not his visitation or funeral. I want to be there for his sister and his mom because they were my family during that show & I miss them & I feel horrible that THIS is the reason why I am going to see them again. I just can't believe that he's gone. I just can't.