A Little Something for You

This is me.
It's been a long time & I'm sorry that you'll have to wait just a little bit longer.
So much has happened, I've become a complete wreck, but this is my post just saying that after tonight, I am yours.
Everyday I will post something because after 12:30 tomorrow I will be done with my first semester of actual college & I have like 8 papers to write before the morning & I cannot seem to get myself going. No motivation whatsoever despite the fact that I have so many things to look forward to.
I'm just so tired. I've been running on empty for weeks now & I'm reaching the end of my ability to function. But I will succeed because I am me.
I always survive.
Tomorrow it will be 13 weeks since I broke up with my ex & it's strange ... For me it still feels like it happened only a few weeks ago but it's been over 3 months ... Oh well.
So much to say & no time to say it. I just wanted to give you none existent people something. I'm also starting a Youtube channel sooo ... I have so much to look forward to. SO much.
Christmas is in a week too!!! GAH!!! All my friends are back in town & it's all so crazy.
The word also ends in 4 days sooo ... gotta live while I can!!!
Time to do one last thing before I crank out 25 billion papers ...
WISH ME LUCK!

1 Year Ago ...

I was in a show called My Fair Lady a year ago & it was probably one of the best experiences of my life. & just like I always do in a show, I formed a crush on one of the cast members. His name was Alex. Yes. Was. I just found out that he has passed away. I cannot begin to explain to you how hard this was to hear ... When I form a romantic feeling for a person, it never goes away. I wrote him so many poems, I have songs specifically for him in my mind. I still think about him every once in awhile. Of course he fell under the shadow of my falling in love, also as he showed no interest in me ... He, his mom, & his sister drove out to my house to drop off some things that I left at the theater. I was asleep when they did this. I never even got a chance to say good-bye. It's funny, I never really realized how often I think about him ... But I did a lot, & now even more so. I am hoping that I can make it to his memorial service if not his visitation or funeral. I want to be there for his sister and his mom because they were my family during that show & I miss them & I feel horrible that THIS is the reason why I am going to see them again. I just can't believe that he's gone. I just can't.